A New Kind of Beard

I received a very distressed call on Saturday (2/6) from my girlfriend, Charlotte (or Sip). I thought perhaps she had been in a car accident or something, but no, it was worse. A nest of baby squirrels (also referred to as "pups") had been knocked down out of the hollow awning of her house by her landlord (although, I don't think he really knew what he was doing…because he usually doesn't).

I eventually went over to see the baby squirrels and help Sip take care of them. She told me that she found some references to figure out the relative age of the pups and aged them at two to three weeks old. It was then that I realized, while beholding one of the cute little mongrels, that they already have facial hair within two weeks.

These little fellas grow beards even before their eyes are open, and the whiskers (or mustache, if you will) are already emulating Sr. Salvador Dalí's mustache! Good form little buddies!

So, we did our best to keep them well until we could get them to a rehabilitator. Unfortunately for my beard, we didn't take a picture with them in it, but you can imagine what it would have been like if we had (unless you have a terrible imagination). It was very tempting to drive back to Arlington to see if I could find one of my old toy pokéballs to put one of them in for a picture. There are very few times in life when you have a photo opportunity with a litter of baby squirrels. I think this is why it's illegal to retain care of wildlife for over 48 hours.

 

After the 48 hours is up, sometimes the wildlife doesn't

want to let go of you.

In order to preserve these squirrels in our memory—I, Honeybeard, on this tenth day of February, in the year of our Lord two-thousand ten, do declare baby squirrels to be the tiniest, youngest and cutest things to have beards, and henceforth, a litter of squirrels (or "pups") whenever referred to hereafter shall be referred to as a "beard" (pictured below—1, 3).

 

1. The first litter of pups ever to be referred to as a "beard"

2. One of the members of the beard being fed

 

 3. The first beard taking a leisurely nap on my hand after

feeding time

Sip and I miss the beard terribly, but we know they're in good hands. She got them to the rehabilitator on Monday (2/8) just before our 48 hours with them were almost finished ticking away. Hopefully we'll have the opportunity to go by and visit them in a week or two when they're supposed to look more like regular squirrels. Goodbye Sally, Sally, Sally and George! You're the best beard ever, we'll miss you and we love you.

Be careful when you begin to take a beard for granted. You never know when it will be gone.

-Honeybeard

You can find a few more pictures of our beard here.

No-Trim 2010: February Begins

There is nothing nicer than a compliment directed to one's beard. I try to give out many more than I receive, though the task is becoming more daunting. In one night (which happened to be my anniversary with my girlfriend) I received two compliments on my beard. I don't even know if I saw two other people with beards that night.

No-Trim 2010 is coming along nicely. Due to my novice skill level with my camera, my progress is not too terribly apparent on account of the difference in contrast and lighting. You can tell, however, that my beard has grown.

My apologies for having the facial expression of a serial killer in these photos…don't worry, your Cinnamon Toast Crunch® is safe.

As for my problems with mustache policy, I have decided that I'm definitely not going to trim my mustache. It is a viable and extremely important part of the beard. After much conversation and deliberation over the past month, the solutions to mustache problems are many. Among them are chewin' on the 'stache (not technically considered trimming), waxing it out of the way, or just dealing with it (the solution I'm currently going with).

Happy growin'!

-Honeybeard